Hello mixers,
I had had different plans for both last week’s and this week’s posts. They’d be along the same usual lines about what’s going on in my life, what I’ve been thinking about and past experiences. But the recent election results—and their repercussions— have been knocking around my brain nonstop since Wednesday. I know I’m not the only newsletter addressing this, and I know so many of us are tired. So thank you for opening mine and reading my words. Now let’s dive in.
I went to sleep on election night at about 11pm. I routinely do not watch TV coverage of elections and wasn’t going to change that habit. There was no point in heightening my anxieties with constant updates when a result might not even come in until the weekend. I went to sleep unsure but hopeful.
I woke up on Wednesday alone. Derek had gone for a walk, and I had woken up earlier than either of us expected. I checked my phone and couldn’t believe the messages from friends I was seeing. Trump had won. Again. I felt, at the same time, both disbelief and numbness. I felt stupid that I had been hopeful we would see our first female president. A Black and South Asian woman no less. I felt stupid, but also unsurprised. Stupid and jaded.
I opened up Instagram instinctively. The first thing I saw was the main image of this post:
I left the app.
That image, of that guy celebrating, has stuck with me the most. I can’t get it out of my head.
I wondered why that image bothered me so much. It’s not just that he’s celebrating his candidate’s win. But it feels like they’re also reveling in our loss. They’re excited and joyful that they won, that they get the power back, that they get to keep banning books and harming trans folks with impunity. That’s what sticks in my head. When Democrats or progressives lose, we sob and hold each other close because we know the rights and freedoms that are at stake. Not necessarily for ourselves, but for so many others. I, a middle-class, straight, cis woman living in a progressive city and state, will most likely be fine. But what does that matter when the lives of millions of people—poor folks, immigrants, Black folks, trans folks, and so many more—are in serious danger? Not only will legislation be passed and judges appointed that seek to strip rights away from these groups and treat them inhumanely, but supporters like that guy in the IG post and his friends feel empowered yet again to make their world how they want it, no matter what other humans they hurt.
When conservatives lose, it feels like they’re sad for themselves. They voted selfishly, and so a loss means maybe higher taxes. A trans person, god forbid, gets to live their own life happily. An immigrant—gasp—doesn’t get violently separated from their family and treated (openly) like garbage.
I’m not sad that we didn’t get our first female president this time around. That would have been really cool, sure, but that’s not what had me crying on Wednesday. It was the exhaustion, the disbelief, that we have to relive 2016-2020 all over again. That our next four years have to be dedicated to fighting extra hard against inhumanities and injustices all over again.
Many people took to social media on Wednesday, and the days since, to share their thoughts about taking time to grieve but knowing that what matters most is that we—those who care about the humans around us—are ready to throw ourselves into community. To support the people and causes we care about, especially those who cannot do it all themselves. I haven’t gathered a list to share with you all yet, because honestly, I’m so tired. But there are plenty of lists—of mutual aid and other orgs to donate your time and money to—out there on social media or even from your local council member or representative to get started on. I’m tired, but I know I can’t afford to be for long. So here we go. Again.