Generosity drumpfs hopelessness

Isn’t it strange how we’re largely expected to just carry on as normal? Working from home, while maintaining the same productivity as before, if not more (I write to you from my one day off, which I awkwardly asked to keep instead of taking my original 3 days of PTO)? Keeping your travel plans with the expectation this will all be fine in a month?

But in reality, nothing is normal about how we’re living. People can’t hold their newborns for COVID-19 fears, while others can’t say goodbye to their loved ones in their last hours. Billions of people across the globe have lost their livelihoods, and there’s truly no end in sight. It’s enough to make anyone feel hopeless.

BUT there is a lot to look forward to and a lot you can do right now to fight that ever-creeping feeling. May I make a few suggestions:

• Give what you can to others.

• Share educational information and positive affirmations wherever/whenever you can.

• Take some time to veg.

• Talk to others.

I have found that giving to others in this insane time eases my anxiety a bit. I recognize that I am incredibly privileged in my situation where I can work from home and continue to pay rent and buy food and then some. SO many people are not so lucky. And because I can, it is my responsibility to help them. Not sure how? May I offer a few more examples:

• First think of what things you’re saving money on by staying inside. Cancelled gym membership? Less dining out? Refunded show tickets? Take those amounts and put that towards donations. You were going to spend it anyways - why not help others with that?

• For one, hundreds of thousands of kids rely on school to get their meals every day. It broke my heart to know that with schools closing, so many kids and families are in danger of going hungry. So consider donating to organizations like City Harvest or your local food bank (it’s as easy as googling YOUR CITY NAME food bank).

• Many cities and organizations are also setting up restaurant relief funds to help keep businesses open and workers paid. If you can, donate to these funds while supporting local businesses via takeout. And don’t forget to tip these workers people WELL - they are putting their own health at risk to keep you comfortable and fed.

• Do you usually see a personal trainer? Or masseuse? Or some other service? Instead of cutting off that person’s income completely, consider still sending them full or partial payments. For example, I set up a plan with my personal trainer where I pay part of our usual rate and he sends me at-home workouts. (This also helps me stay active and prevent my muscles from completely atrophying.)

• DONATE TO THE ARTTTTTS. Think about all the creative things we ingest every day: books, TV shows, movies, articles, podcasts, music, short stories, graphic design, instagram art. All these things have creators, many of whom are getting hit hard. Artists have lost the ability to showcase at galleries and art shows, freelance workers may already not have a steady income. Check up on those creatives, on Twitter or Instagram, and see if they have funds set up. Buy their stuff if they have online shops. Donate to small venues near you to help them stay afloat.

• If you’re a churchgoin’ guy or gal, don’t forget about your lil church! They’re missing out on those daily offertory collections and could still use your help. See if there’s an online donations page on their website or social media pages.

Sharing info has also helped. This ranges from sharing links to donation pages (as I am doing now) and spreading factual information about the virus to reposting affirmational messages on Instagram.

• For example, here’s a little reminder that “your worth is not determined by your productivity.” Working from home makes a lot of us feel like we have to be ON all the time, online at 9am sharp and only offline until everyone else is. But that’s not true. You have to take care of yourself through all this, and if that means signing off at 5pm to give your mind a break, or asking for a whole mental health day off, then so be it. You’ll still be the same valued person (and if someone tells you otherwise, then it’s they who have serious issues, not you).

Take some time to just veg. There’s a lot to think and fret about these days, and I am here to tell you it’s okay to just turn your brain off. You don’t have to take every moment you’re not actually working to work on that novel you’ve been meaning to write or sit down to create a new 10-year plan. Those things will come about, but now’s not the time to pressure yourself. There’s enough external pressure already. Do a puzzle instead! Bake some cookies! Lie down and stare at the ceiling! Whatever it is you choose, it’s ok to be generous with yourself, too.

Talk to people. Remember my first post? A little “good morning” goes a long way, and talking and interacting with people in a time where we’re starved for human interaction can be so healing. Greet and/or smile to people when you go outside. Hit up your friends to vchat - don’t forget about the ones from home, or the ones you haven’t seen in a while. Everyone could use a little extra attention right now. I’m so grateful for the people who have texted me asking how I’m doing, I’ll be sure to pass it along and do the same.