Dear Chad
I love when racist white people call me racist.
First of all, sorry for the late post, but I had to get it out.
Second of all, names of those involved have been changed to protect their privacy.
Now to the story of how a white man stalked my Twitter account and tried to attack me in a work channel for being racist.
Some background: Back in June, some employees at my company announced a new Diversity & Inclusion Group, something that had been in the making for months they assured us. The group’s purpose was to put on events and start conversations among employees on all topics under the umbrella of Diversity and Inclusion, or DIG, including race, gender, sexuality, disability, etc. Part of this new initiative was the creation of a DIG Slack channel, a forum for people to share their thoughts, ideas, questions, articles, and more, to start conversations and learn from each other. More than 300 people joined the channel when it was first announced, and for months, the channel served its stated purpose well. People were sharing their experiences, asking questions, teaching and learning from their coworkers.
Until recently, when some white people thought they could share their pretty harmful viewpoints without pushback. Last week, I may have caused sort of a ruckus when — in response to some white people saying they can’t be allies when buildings are being looted and burned down — I said that allyship isn’t about keeping yourself comfortable. It’s about listening to Black people and doing the work, even if it takes you out of your comfort zone. It’s being angrier that Black people are routinely being killed by the state and that the state and white people aren’t caring enough, than the bummer that is property getting trashed. But anyways, that’s another story for another day.
This week, today specifically, a white man logged on and dropped a 379 word manifesto in response to a woman posting about a book on diversity in tech — all before 9am. I won’t post his whole diatribe on here just in case he sues me for whatever white people sue POC for these days or in case HR gets involved. But basically he mourned how when he first started at the company, it was the most diverse place ever and no one ever had an issue with race (hmmm, I wonder if any employees of color would say the same. Somehow I doubt he asked them.) and it was one great big family. But “all of a sudden, all "white people" are racist and all "black people" are oppressed” and people are complaining for nothing, and “if you truly think that in this day and age, "black people" are victims of "white oppression" then you really need to expand your horizons.” He said the group itself is racist and divisive because it’s all about the color of his skin. Oh and diversity in tech isn’t an issue because his team specifically is super diverse.
He packed a lot in there, I guess you have to give him credit for that.
Now, I logged in shortly before 10am and by then, the chat was really popping off. Employees of color and white employees were chiming in, keeping it as civil as they possibly could with him. I had several DMs from people reacting to the convo in real time. As I was reading the DIG conversation, I felt like this man was singlehandedly swordfighting six or seven people with a sad little racist sword, but still going strong powered by sheer stubbornness.
A lot happened in there that aren’t even the main course of this story (we’re getting there, I swear). He talked about how it’s impossible that oppression of people of color is real because he’s been through some shit in his life, but he never played victim. It was never about skin color for him (yes, exactly, look down, it’s because you’re white). When asked about when people talk about racism, white privilege, white supremacy, etc. if he takes it personally, he said no, but that it’s language meant to divide… The only concession he made was that there are gender problems in tech when someone sent a few links on the subject, but he still refused to believe there were race issues. oH and he made SURE to add that his brother-in-law is Black.
(A couple things to note here. This man has never before participated in the channel, or ever paid attention to its offerings since he suggested they implement Zoom chats, which already happen. Also somewhere in the middle of this discussion, HR popped in to be like “Hey we have Talkspace!”)
Ok now to the main point. A couple of hours later, a Black woman wrote in the channel how triggering and upsetting that man’s comments were. She expressed how tired she is that POC have to explain their experiences over and over and over again for the privilege of white sympathy or empathy.
In response, he gaslit her, made himself the misunderstood victim, and said the only reason she feels triggered is because the channel is not diverse and the ideas are all the same. You’re right buddy, your racism triggered her because people haven’t been that racist in this channel before.
He also denied that he was invalidating anything, and bemoaned how sad it was that he was being viewed so poorly and that everyone else could only see their side (pot calling a kettle black situation there, maybe).
THIS is where I step in. I’ll gladly share my words with you in full.
Well my response triggered this white man. Enough to stalk my Twitter. Or maybe he’s been stalking it this whole time and just waiting to attack me.
At first, I was like what in the world… strange hypothetical to be bringing up, dude. But then, I remembered. I hopped onto my Twitter and scrolled for ages until…
First of all, if you’re going to reference my tweet from July, have the decency to link your source! Second of all, you don’t even give the context for my hilarious joke. Third of all, swapping out “white” with “black” isn’t a one-to-one exchange (more on racism against whites below). Nice try, though.
In real time, though, I didn’t say any of that. I was in shock. My hands were shaking. This man — who does not work in my office, who I have never met, who doesn’t even have his face as his Slack picture — was lurking in my Twitter, literally lying in wait to call me a racist in a work channel. What other information on me did he have? What else does he know about me? He could be reading this right now, since my substack link is in my Twitter (Hi Chad!). I felt watched and violated. I was scared. I am still scared. I immediately told my friends and manager, who told me to just step back.
So I did. I sat and watched as this man talk about how “that was posted by a member of this diverse group .. along with many other anti-white statements,” how there is evidence of racial bias in the chat aimed at degrading white people and how, in his opinion, I am the worst kind of racist because I “claim to not be a racist, yet [I] espouse racist garbage.”
Like I said in the subtitle, I love when white people call me racist. Because 100% of the time, it means I was mean to white people and it outs them as racist themselves! Funny, that. Someone even called me racist in a comment on a Just a Mix of Things post for complaining about the inconsiderate white people in my neighborhood. Your fragility fuels me!
Dear Chad tried to pull a fast one, but clearly he hasn’t done his reading: you can’t be racist against white people! Racism is about power. White people have had power over people of color for centuries, enough power to enslave Black folks, enough power to force hysterectomies on Latina women in ICE custody, enough power to lock up Japanese citizens in internment camps and steal their property, enough power to shoot and kill Black men, women, and children and get away with it.
You’re mad I made fun of white girls? Are you mad when Black people are called monkeys? Are you mad when white girls make fun of Black and brown girls features? Are you mad when that smug white boy laughed in a Native elder’s face as he defended his land?
That man has a lot to learn, although I’m not sure he’ll ever learn it. Just because you, a white man, view your team as being diverse enough, doesn’t mean the people of color or women on your team feel the same way. And you don’t even bother to ask. You assume, which is exactly what you accuse people in the channel of doing. Just because you went through hard times as a kid doesn’t mean you didn’t face uphill battles. But you didn’t go through those things because of the color of your skin, like so many Black and brown people do. They are denied jobs because of a glance at their skin. They are mocked and beaten because of a look at their skin. They are killed because of their skin.
It seems to me Chad’s white fragility got pretty cracked when people of color dared to share their real experiences and demand more for themselves. Sorry your perfect little world where no one talks about racism out loud in front of you is gone. As for me, I’m going to keep tweeting, speaking up and yes, probably still poke fun at the oppressors in my free time.
Your fragility fuels me 👏🏽